Supporting a Veteran with Mental Health Issues | Family Guide
When someone you care about is struggling with their mental health, it can be difficult to know how to help. The Royal Commission into Defence and Veteran Suicide recognised that families are “often the first to observe changes in their loved one’s mental and emotional state” and are frequently “first responders in providing mental health first aid and support.”
This guide provides practical information for family members and friends supporting a veteran with PTSD, depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions.
Understanding What They’re Going Through
Mental health conditions like PTSD aren’t a choice or a sign of weakness. They’re real medical conditions that develop in response to experiences — and they respond to treatment.
Common symptoms you might notice include:
- Withdrawal from family activities or social situations
- Increased irritability, anger, or mood changes
- Sleep difficulties — nightmares, insomnia, or sleeping too much
- Being easily startled or always “on alert”
- Avoiding certain places, activities, or conversations
- Loss of interest in things they used to enjoy
- Using alcohol or substances more than before
These behaviours aren’t about you. They’re symptoms of a condition that can improve with the right support and treatment.
How You Can Help
Listen Without Judgement
One of the most valuable things you can do is simply be there to listen. You don’t need to have all the answers or “fix” anything. Let them know you’re available when they want to talk, but don’t pressure them to share before they’re ready.
Learn About Their Condition
Understanding what PTSD, depression, or anxiety actually involves can help you respond with empathy rather than frustration. DVA’s At Ease portal and Open Arms provide excellent information for families.
Encourage Professional Help
Gently encourage them to seek professional support, but respect that ultimately it’s their decision. You might offer to help find information about services, book appointments, or accompany them to their first visit.
Be Patient
Recovery takes time and isn’t always linear. There may be setbacks along the way. Your ongoing patience and support can make a real difference, even when progress feels slow.
Maintain Routine
Where possible, keep regular routines and activities going. Structure and predictability can be stabilising for someone experiencing mental health difficulties.
What to Avoid
- Don’t minimise their experience: Phrases like “just get over it” or “other people have it worse” aren’t helpful
- Don’t push them to talk: Let them share at their own pace — pressuring can backfire
- Don’t take symptoms personally: Withdrawal, irritability, and emotional changes are symptoms, not rejection
- Don’t enable harmful behaviours: Supporting them doesn’t mean ignoring concerning alcohol use or other harmful patterns
Looking After Yourself
Supporting someone with mental health issues can take a toll on your own wellbeing. This isn’t selfish to acknowledge — in fact, looking after yourself makes you better able to support them.
- Maintain your own social connections and activities
- Set healthy boundaries — you can’t be available 24/7
- Consider accessing support yourself through Open Arms family counselling
- Connect with other families in similar situations through peer support groups
Remember: You’re not responsible for their recovery. You can support them, but ultimately they need to do the work — and professional help is available for both of you.
Support Services for Families
Open Arms — Veterans & Families Counselling
Open Arms provides free counselling not just for veterans, but for their immediate family members too. Services include individual counselling, couple and family counselling, and group programs. Available 24/7 on 1800 011 046.
Mental Health First Aid Training
DVA funds free Mental Health First Aid training for the veteran community, teaching you how to recognise when someone may be struggling, provide initial support, and connect them with appropriate help.
Acute Support Package
If your family is experiencing significant challenges, the DVA Acute Support Package can provide practical support services during difficult times. This might include services to build capacity, support for children, and other assistance tailored to your family’s needs.
Peer Support
Open Arms Community and Peer Workers have their own lived experience of military service or military family life and can provide valuable connection and support.
When to Seek Urgent Help
If you’re concerned about immediate safety — either theirs or someone else’s — seek help immediately:
- Emergency: Call 000
- Open Arms: 1800 011 046 (24/7)
- Lifeline: 13 11 14
- Safe Zone: 1800 142 072 (anonymous counselling)
Frequently Asked Questions
They won't admit they need help. What can I do?
You can't force someone to get help, but you can share your observations and concerns, provide information about available services, and let them know you'll support them when they're ready. Sometimes people need time to come to the decision themselves.
Am I eligible for family counselling even if my partner hasn't sought help?
Yes. Immediate family members of veterans can access Open Arms counselling regardless of whether the veteran is receiving treatment themselves.
Book with March Ahead
If your family member needs a psychiatric assessment for their DVA claim, March Ahead provides comprehensive, independent evaluations with no waitlist.
Related Resources
- Related: PTSD in Australian Veterans
- Related: Accessing DVA Mental Health Services
- Service page: Our Services